A First For Dylan

Tonight Dylan picked up a bottle that was sitting next to her play mat and immediately put it into her mouth and started drinking! She is growing up so fast. Lately she will squirm and roll across the room to grab something she wants, usually the remote. She has nearly pulled the Christmas tree down a few times too. I can tell we have a lot of baby proofing to do, but I'm excited for all of the "firsts" to come!

My Husband

My husband Jon is the most wonderful man I have ever met. I've had a crush on him since I was 16 years old, and he still drives me crazy today. He would do anything for our family and he always puts our happiness first, this is what I admire most about him. I can't tell him enough how much I love him, and I know that I wouldn't be as strong as I am without him by my side. He is a wonderful father, a loving husband, an excellent gamer, and has overwhelming good looks. I love you Jon.

New Blog

I created a new blog dedicated to the recent event in my life. I still cannot talk about it to anyone, but I find that writing down how I am feeling helps give me an outlet for all of my emotions.

Bad News Today

Three weeks ago we found out during the ultrasound that the baby's heart rate was too high, over 200. I went back today to have a follow up ultrasound and the heart rate has dropped down to 188, which is still too high. They also noticed that the nuchal fold is measuring way too large, and it is highly likely that it is a chromosomal abnormality. I talked to both my OB and a specialist and after they looked at everything, both of them said that I'm going to lose the baby, and right now I have the option to do some testing. Either way I will need to choose whether or not to end the pregnancy now or wait to miscarry. None of them said that it is a possibility to end up with a living baby. It is so difficult to see your child kicking their legs and sucking their thumb, and then moments later have someone tell that child is not going to live. This is going to be the hardest choice I have ever made, and I have no idea what to do.

I Never Knew

I never knew I could love this much. I thought that the day Dylan was born I would have this feeling, but I've come to realize that it develops over time. I honestly cry when I think about how much Dylan means to me and how she has made me see the world in a completely different way. Over the last four months I have learned so much about myself and Jon and now I can't imagine our life any other way. I miss Dylan every second I am away from her, I miss her smile, her laughs, even the smell of spit up. It is so interesting to see her discover and analyze things, I'm so excited for all things she will learn. As much as I don't want her to grow any older, I realize that all of her milestones have become the highlight of my life, and it is so fun to experience this process of seeing her grow into the beautiful woman that she will one day become. Even though I have been going through a rough time lately, all I need to do is look at Dylan and Jon and I know that I have all that I've ever wanted and as long as I have them everything will be ok.


I had my first ultrasound today. The ultrasound room felt so familiar to me, so many great moments there, but today I was scared as hell to be there. Like I thought, I was not as far along as according to my LMS. Turns out that I am 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant. There in only one baby (thank goodness), it is adorable and looks like a little bean. Seeing the baby and hearing the heart beat made me feel so relieved! Now to the not so happy news, turns out that the baby has Tachycardia, it's heart rate was 202, which is too high. I'm so nervous, I feel as if me being sick is causing this and I feel so guilty. The doctor said that they may have me come in within the next two weeks to do another ultrasound, one where they study the heart and blood flow, or else I will have to wait 5 weeks and check it at my next appointment. I don't think I can wait 2 weeks let alone 5. I've been on such an emotional rollercoaster today, it's getting hard to handle. I will talk to the nurse tomorrow to see what will happen. If the heart rate stays above 200 that means a possible heart defect, please pray and hope for the best.

*Update: I will have another ultrasound on the 26th.

Sick Day

I've been sick for about 4 days now. Thankfully I have such a wonderful husband who is home with me today.It kills me not to be able to help with Dylan or do chores around the apartment. I'm also nervous about this baby growing inside me, I haven't given it a very healthy environment to develop in. Hopefully all my worrying will go away when we get to see thing #2 during the ultrasound tomorrow. Dylan's 4 month shots have to be delayed a week because her doctor is out of the office tomorrow, hopefully she will be able to get some help with her reflux issues at that appointment as well. I feel as if everything is really dreary right now, I need something to wake me up.


I called the clinic today to get my results and she said they were high, 40,000! This means that I am progressed enough to get an ultrasound. Tuesday will be a big day, Dylan is getting her 4 month shots, then after that we get to see the new baby. They will do measurements and determine a due date. Hooray! I think tonight is a good night for a date with my Jonny.


I called my OB's office to let them know that I had a positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago, and when the receptionist saw that I just had my postpartum checkup in July she sounded concerned and said she would have the nurse call me back. After a long wait the nurse called me and let me know that they needed to test out my HCG (Human chorionic gonadoropin) levels. The further you progress in your pregnancy the higher these levels get. So I dropped Dylan off at Patty's office and went to the labs where they drew my blood. Hopefully I will hear the results tomorrow. If the results are high enough, probably over 1,000, they will do an ultrasound.

I really wasn't worried about this pregnancy until today. We wanted our children to be close in age, and I am in love with the idea of how good of friends these two children will be. But the concern of the nurse, made me a little nervous about everything. A part of me feels selffish for getting pregnant again so soon and possibily putting my health at risk, but I also feel like I have so much love to give and this is what I was meant to do with my life. I hope everything turns out fine, I will update with results soon.


I knew I named this blog Midwest Chaos for a reason. I currently am a wife, full-time mother, part-time BBY employee, full-time student, and full-time pregnant. I can't believe I'm 2.5 months pregnant with an almost 4 month old baby! Jon and I wanted our children to be about a year apart, now it looks like it will be around 10 months. Two children under one, wow. I'm so excited yet so terrified. This time around I'm considered a high-risk pregnancy, I just hope I'll be able to keep up with Dylan and avoid bed rest. I probably won't be able to see my OB for another few weeks, so I'll just have to take it easy and be patient. 

This man made my dreams come true.


Daddy's girl

Telling stories

She really didn't want her picture taken

That's better

I caught this photo of Jon looking at Dylan, he loves her so much.

She is a hoot!

Do Not Follow My Blog...

If you like to be in committed relationships, or hate the over usage of commas. Every attempt at documenting my life has lasted about a week and then I totally forget about it, or lose interest. So this time I'm not expecting myself to follow through, and you shouldn't either, but there is always room for surprises. Now that you are aware of my intentions, we can carry on with this casual blog relationship.

Dylan Sophia turned 1 month old this week, she is getting so big and it makes me slightly sad that I no longer have a fresh tiny newborn, but then she smiles and it makes me melt with happiness. We are planning on visiting Matt and Heather up in the cities on Saturday, we'll see how our first car trip goes. I miss Minneapolis so much lately, and have talked to Jon about moving back there in the future, it all depends on school and jobs though. I dread the day when I have to go back to work. This fall is going to be chaos with me staying home during the week to take care of Dylan, working part-time in the evenings and on weekends, and going to school full-time. And amidst all of this, I want to get pregnant again, what the hell am I thinking?! Ahh how I miss being able to eat and not feel guilty about it, and use my belly as a shelf. The day Dylan was born was the most painful and wonderful day of my life, and I am desperate to have that feeling again.

In other news, the wedding plans are finally coming along well! I hope I don't regret not putting a whole lot of effort into this wedding. I always thought I would be a semi-bridezilla, making sure everything is planned out perfectly. But most of my focus has been on Dylan, so the wedding has not seemed like that big of a deal. I think the invitations will get sent out in the next week, and the only two things I need to figure out now is a hairstylist and wedding cake. We also figured out that when I get put onto Jon's insurance that it doesn't become effective until the first of the next month. Seeing as I just had a major surgery done, I can't afford not to have health isurance for any amount of time, so most likely we'll end up getting legally married at the end of July and then have our wedding in August... we seem to never follow the rules of life.